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"The Best 30 Seconds Of My Life" [entries|friends|calendar]

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for 3 and i | give a reason

Should I Die Now...Or Die Later?!?! What Do You Think?!?! [07 Jan 2004|04:38pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Im so out of it lately,I don't know what the hell is wrong w/ me! I seriously am not the same person anymore and I need someone to be here for me and there's really no one like that for me! I mean there is but I want to kind of just hang out w/ different people for once! I need to go out there and just have a good time w/o the whole partying thing,I guess! I dont know...like I said "I don't know what the hell is wrong w/ me"! I'm just so depressed for like no reason at all,how stupid is that?!?! Someone please help me!!! And to top things off...Valentine's Day is coming up and guess who has no one...??? ME!!! Well anywho Im gonna go and try to find something fun to do so bye! =`(

for 2 and i | give a reason

Okay...What The Hell Is Going On?!?!? [07 Jan 2004|02:09pm]
[ mood | worried ]

I've been trying to get ahold of Jason because my butterfly is missing!!! Everytime I go on,its gone!!! I'm worried...Jason are you mad at me for somehting I did or didn't do?!?! I dont please let me know...I'm worried cuz I haven't talked to you but comment or something,let me know you're cool w/ me!!!!!! Okay,that's all for now,bye!

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~I Miss Being Loved~ [06 Jan 2004|12:09pm]
[ mood | worried ]

Today is another day w/ Isac!We're going to the mall today and hopefully things turn out better than last time. If not we'll be at the mall and I'll have things to distract me,like clothes,shoes,and food! lol I don't know guys....wich me luck!!!!

give a reason

*Shakes Head*...Here We Go Again! [05 Jan 2004|02:11pm]
[ mood | sad ]

So last night I saw Isac and we hung out and it was fun but not as fun as I thought it would be! I was excited that he came back from wherever he was (I keep forgeting)so I can see him cuz I missed him but when we hung out it was awkward! I always tend to feel that way now and I dont think it's a normal thing! I mean I feel shitty sometimes when I'm w/ him and Im not supposed to feel that way right?!?! I think it's because I showed him my lip peircing and he said it was ugly and I was excited about my new shoes and I showed him those and he was like "whatever"...it pissed me off and I didn't feel loved! Am I being stupid or would anyone else feel that way too?!?! I just feel when he says he loves me,he lying because you're suppose to love the person for whom they are and he doesn't! Or at least it feels that way because he always says he doesn't like this about me or like that! He's suppose to live me for who I am and it aint happenin!!! I don't know what to do but I don't want to feel this way anymore,what should I do?!?! I need to talk to someone fast...I need a guys opinion,that's always good!!! Help me!=`(
I'm sad! Oh and by the way...I got a starnage phone call from an old friend Lucas last night,please tell me why?!?!?! Anyways,gotta go,bye!

give a reason

*Oh &...* [04 Jan 2004|03:47pm]


give a reason

I Hit That Shit,I Hit That Shit...I Sorry,I Sorry!!! [04 Jan 2004|03:15pm]
[ mood | loved ]

Awww...Chebwa [9:24 PM]: Gettin' SHITAAAAAAY!
Chebwa [9:24 PM]: ::sings::
JeN LvS yA [9:25 PM]: lol i just cussed someone out over the internet,it was great!!! and i'm glad ur having fun!
Chebwa [9:25 PM]: WHOOP!
Chebwa [9:25 PM]: You know
Chebwa [9:25 PM]: I wasn't really mad before
Chebwa [9:26 PM]: I was just messing with you
Chebwa [9:26 PM]: :-O
JeN LvS yA [9:26 PM]: okay kool,cuz u really did scare me!
Chebwa [9:26 PM]: haha
Chebwa [9:26 PM]: Seriously
Chebwa [9:26 PM]: how could I be mad at you.
Chebwa [9:26 PM]: All you do is nice stuff.
JeN LvS yA [9:26 PM]: awww....i'm gonna cry
JeN LvS yA [9:27 PM]: hey i love u both the same
Chebwa [9:27 PM]: That's better.
JeN LvS yA [9:27 PM]: okay ;)
Chebwa [9:27 PM]: hehe
Chebwa [9:27 PM]: Hold on...
JeN LvS yA [9:27 PM]: okay
Chebwa [9:28 PM]: madradhair:
Chebwa [9:30 PM]: hot_fashion: Right?
JeN LvS yA [9:31 PM]: it's taking too long!!! =`(
Chebwa [9:31 PM]: You loser.
JeN LvS yA [9:31 PM]: :'(
JeN LvS yA [9:32 PM]: is it in ur journal?!?!
Chebwa [9:32 PM]: I jest.
JeN LvS yA [9:32 PM]: huh?!?!
Chebwa [9:33 PM]: Jest = Joke
JeN LvS yA [9:33 PM]: ohhhhhh lol
JeN LvS yA [9:33 PM]: okay
JeN LvS yA [9:33 PM]: jason?!?!
Chebwa [9:34 PM]: yeaaaaah?
JeN LvS yA [9:34 PM]: am i a waste of ur time?!?! lol that's what that one guy said!
Chebwa [9:35 PM]: HAHAHA that was Ryan
Chebwa [9:35 PM]: he doesnt know you
Chebwa [9:35 PM]: he doesnt love you like we do.
JeN LvS yA [9:36 PM]: that one guy who imed us was ryan?!?!
Chebwa [9:36 PM]: haha yes
JeN LvS yA [9:36 PM]: lol i feel stupid now!!!
Chebwa [9:36 PM]: lol
Chebwa [9:36 PM]: It's okay
Chebwa [9:36 PM]: all of us think you guys are A+.
JeN LvS yA [9:37 PM]: awwww...*tear* *tear*
Chebwa [9:37 PM]: You're in our permanent circle.
Chebwa [9:37 PM]: Of compadres.
Chebwa [9:37 PM]: ;)
JeN LvS yA [9:39 PM]: seriously...i love u guys!!!!
Chebwa [9:39 PM]: We're dancin' for joy
Chebwa [9:39 PM]: and just in general.
JeN LvS yA [9:40 PM]: just cuz?!?!
Chebwa [9:40 PM]: yes
JeN LvS yA [9:40 PM]: i wanna dance too!!!
Chebwa [9:40 PM]: haha

I love these fools...

give a reason

[01 Jan 2004|05:44pm]

Sorry for updating alot but I just had to update about Joe King! He text Jen the other night and he told Jen to tell me he said "hi" so he may not actually be an asshole after all! lol..yey!

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LoL...I Stole This!!! I'm Sorry!!! [01 Jan 2004|05:09pm]
[ mood | amused ]

2003 survey
1. What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before? It sounds lame but...Become independent!
2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don't think I had any but this year I'm gonna get down on writing my songs!
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? yeah...Precious!
4. Did anyone close to you die? yeah actually,my 2nd cousin
5. What countries did you visit? natha
6. What would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003? To spend time w/ my cuz Dan Arnold! ;)
7. What date from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? hmmm...Jan 17th (the day I met Isac)
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Letting go of things that I thought mattered to me when it really didn't!
9. What was your biggest failure? uhhh...
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? not that I remember...
11. What was the best thing you bought? Lol my Nintendo watch!
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? mine.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Lauren,Kelly,and Deanna
14. Where did most of your money go? purses,shoes,and clothes...oh and make-up!
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Getting away from La Mirada people
16. What song will always remind you of 2003? That's a hard one!
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? happier
ii. thinner or fatter? fatter
iii. richer or poorer? richer
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? there's alot of things
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? drugs. get in trouble. (I agree)
20. How will you be spending Christmas? that's a late question but it was alright
21. Did you fall in love in 2003? yessss<33333 (I agree on that one too)
22. Did you make love to an animal in 2003? wtf?!?! sick people,I'm telling you!
23. How many one-night stands? lol
24. Your favorite TV program: The O.C.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? hate is such a strong word!
26. What was the best book you read? Go Ask Alice
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Hmmm...
28. What did you want and get? the love of my life
29. What was your favorite film of this year? How To Deal
30. Did you masterbate in 2003? lol no ;)
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I got my tatt (final fuckingly) and I was 18
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? being w/ the people I ♥ more often than before
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003? emo in a way but more of me in it!
34. What kept you sane? Jen
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? huh?!?!
36. What political issue stirred you the most? ?????
37. Who did you miss? Anthony
38. Who was the best new person you met? Chad and Carlos and Joe
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003. Don't do stupid shit or else!!!
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: =`( I don't know

give a reason

!!!!!!!I'm Alive!!!!!!!!! [01 Jan 2004|04:14pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

Woo Hoo... and perfect timing too cuz (hopefully) tomorrow I'm getting my lip done! I'm sooo excited! I'm gonna cry! And the best part is,is that I'm not even sick anymore,I feel much better! And oh yeah...Thanx guys for calling me!!! I really appreciate it! =`( <-------------- Anywho,how was everyone's New Yar?!?! Mine sucked ass cuz last night I was still kinda out of it,but oh well what can you do huh?!?! And there was a hugs party last night too that Jamie Lamont was having but I dobn't like her so things even out I guess! I really don't even know what to write about becasue nothing really happened,I was stuck at home,bored outa my mind! Oh...I went to dinner w/ the family last night,we ate at the Olive Garden and the food was delicious! ;) Umm...oh and I guess I'm quitting my job and I'm gonna start working at Black Angus according to my parents and go to Bartending school as well! Hmmm...a lil' odd don't ya think?!?! Oh and we're moving! LOL Okay that's it for now..more later,bye!

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OH BY THE WAY... [27 Dec 2003|08:27pm]
for 1 and i | give a reason

Blah...I'm So Sick & Tired... [27 Dec 2003|08:21pm]
[ mood | sick ]

I want to shoot myself in the head,that's how sick I am and thank God I didn't have to work today or else! But I have to work tomorrow morning at 10-6...bastards! So,how was everyone's Christmas?!?! Mine sucked until Jen came over lol! But I got my phone and that's all it matters,the drums come later! Oh and thanx guys for caring about me!!! Seriously I can't breathe out of my nostrils!!! Call me on my new cell and tell me that you care and that I hope I feel better!!! Please!!! =`( Well that's it for now cuz I gotta do my hair for tomorrow but "Hey...I'll be expecting some calls here"!!! And by the way...Jason nad Alex...You're gift will be sent later on this week,tootles!

for 2 and i | give a reason

~*Merry Christmas*~(tomorrow)... [24 Dec 2003|08:58pm]
This goes to: pinkxenvyx4xu cupxofxjoe chebwa alexyerks ookala circlefckdher greymatter111 itendstoday shamusmurphy stero activist and punkypunk16!!!! <3<3<3 I'll update soon,bye!
for 3 and i | give a reason

I Love My Job!!! <3 <3 <3 [22 Dec 2003|11:20am]
[ mood | tired ]

Lol My friend Carlos came into my store to visit me today,it was awesome because none of my friends from Hot Topic come in to visit me cuz it's a lil' girl store and all but he did! He's soooo cool,I love him! Oh and Joe comes in once in awhile! Anywho...I think we just had a mini earthquake but I'm not sure!...Yep,we did! Ummm...I'm so freakin' tired cuz I had to be at work at 6:30 in the morning and I got off at 10:0 plus I have to go in again at 7-close but I just had to update! It's not like it's anything important but oh well...you gotta do watcha you gotta do! I'm soooo excited,it's gonna be Christmas soon but it doesn't even seem like it anymore! I still have to wrap a couple of presents and send some other ones and take back one so yeah,it's crazy! I can't wait for it to be over cuz no more business in the stores,it's too tiring! Speaking of tiring I think I'm gonna go now cuz I have no idea what I'm writing so bye!

for 1 and i | give a reason

Woo Hoo...More Shoppin'!!! [20 Dec 2003|11:21am]
[ mood | cheerful ]

I guess I should be excited to go to the mall and go shopping cuz I'm a girl and I like to do that stuff but I'm so F'n tired of "Malls" in general! Oh well,I'm getting presents for my sister's best friend Jen and something for Alex and Jason cuz I love those guys,they're tiiiiigggghhhht! J/k Anyways...yep we're goin' as soon as my mom gets her ass in the shower! Oh and also...guess what?!?! Jen and I are going to visist you guys in New York this summer so get ready to show us around guys!!! Umm...what else happened?!?! Last night was crappy cuz we didn't do shit! Jen and I were suppose to go out w/ the girls and go see some strippers (lol) and just hang out but uhh...yeah they're flakes so we went to the mall,talked to my friend Joe at Hot Topic for like an hour,or half an hour,one of those, Than we went to all the other stores pretty much and Jen gotta belt and we both got charms for our necklaces..."Gosh jen,they were damn expensive huh?!?!" (inside joke)! And after that we drove around andgot Jack In The Box and went home so yeah...we lead exciting live...NOT! But uh,I g2g now and get ready to shop so bye guys! xoxo

for 2 and i | give a reason

Okay Jay... [18 Dec 2003|07:01pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Jen and I have been trying to call u but no one is answering! We have more pics for you!!! Some better looking ones at that! ;) So I guess we'll have to do it some other time...bye!

for 1 and i | give a reason

I'm Hurt,Confused,and Stupid all at the Same Time... [18 Dec 2003|03:23pm]
[ mood | scared ]

Should I be feeliong like this?!?! Yesterday was horrible! I went online,went to Xanga and read Jen's and Isac's journal. Well the stuff Isac had written wasn't very good at all and it worried me so I called him but no answer. So my mom and I drove to his house and his dad was there and his dad had asked what happened so I told him what he had wrote and went to go look for him! Isac wrote something like "I hate life,I'm gonna die soon...and I hope it's painful" or something or other! I don't know...wouldn't you be freaked out!?!? So Isac called me later on that day and I asked him if his dad found him nad he asked why and I told him why so I guess he was mad at me that I told his dad that..."NO" he was mad at me! But what else was I suppose to do?!?! I thought something had really happened to him! I don't know so later on that night we had talked and it led to us of course and I told I would try to work on us but he flipped things around and told he was busy watching a movie,and you know what?!?! I am not one to be playing games right now...either you work w/ me here or you don't and he's gonna choose not to than screw it,no seriously screw it! Yeah,I need him in my life but not like this! He can call me when he's not too busy to talk,other than that I'm not gonna call unless I absolutely need to! Okay well I think that's it for now so bye!

give a reason

Like I Said... [17 Dec 2003|02:40pm]
[ mood | dirty ]

The journal that my very good friend Jason made me is AWESOME! I think he's even more awesome though! Anywho...I'm bored and hey I decided to update! Oh and thanx Alex for that rude comment...I'm sad now! Let's ee if u get a Christmas present!!! j/k You'll get one! Umm...speaking of presents I have to go to the Brea mall and see if they still have that certain something for Isac that my mom wanted to get him. He doesn't even deserve it right now,he hasn't called me! You always go wrong if you don't call me when ypu're suppose to! He probably won't even call me at all but am I suppose to care?!?! In a way "yeah" but in another very big way "no"!!! I don't even know what to do anymore...this is all madness between us and it shouldn't be like this at all,but it is and what can I do about it?!?! I'm not gonna mope around about it,I'm gonna go out w/ my pals and and have fun,trying to do whatever that would keep my mind off of things. Speaking of doing that...after Jen and I finally got off the computer,we went driving around and saw our god friend Boma and hung out w/ him and the other guys at Plush Que (I think I spelled that one wrong 4 sure)! It was alright I guess,it'll do for now but I'm gonna now and take a nice warm shoer cuz it's freezing so bye!

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Totally sweet, man. [16 Dec 2003|11:01pm]

THANKS JASON, MY JOURNAL IS AWESOME! You are obviously more awesome, but my new journal is still pretty awesome. KEEP CHEWIN' DUDE! YEAH! THUMBS UP!
for 4 and i | give a reason

I Really Hate When People Aren't Understanding! [15 Dec 2003|06:10pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

I got off the phone w/ Isac not too long ago and we were talking and of coarse got into a mini argument. We had made a deal...If I move to New York than he goes to the army or something or other! But tonight I told him that I wanted to go to New Yirk just for the weekend and he told me he would go to the army than! Hello...our deal is he's going only if I move there,not for the weekend!!! But he's not understanding and won't listen to me and he doesn't see how lame he is and how gay he's being! I'm sick and tired of it! Aaaahhhh! Anywho,I didn't have to go in today but my mom and I went shopping and I came home,went online to see if they had Jason's shirt and went to bed..yep what a long and tiring day huh?!?! But I'm gonna go now and get ready to do my nails so bye!

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